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The Branch Covidian Cult’s 5 Pillars Of Faith

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In March of 2021 I wrote this column that was also published at American Greatness. The topic at hand was the explosion of a new religious  denomination.

The Branch Covidians!

At the time they clearly had 4 pillars of the new faith. However, since the rolling out of the COVID mRNA gene therapy (AKA ‘vaccinations’) the cult’ elder board has added the jab as a fifth and primary cornerstone of the faith.

This new revelation proves there is an ever evolving faith.

Cultish History

David Koresh was the leader of the religious cult, The Branch Davidians. He and many of his followers met a tragic end in 1993 at their Waco, Texas compound.

His disciples believed in him. They believed his message.

Jim Jones fled the United States to Jonesville, Guyana. He along with more than 900 of his devotees ended up dead in a mass murder suicide in November 1978.

His disciples believed him. They believed his message.

The 2020 viral pandemic caused by the  Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus (SARS-CoV-2), AKA COVID-19, has also gathered a Charles Manson like cult following.

Borrowing from Koresh’s denomination, They are known as The Branch Covidians.  

By Faith

Like all religious cults The Branch Covidians believe by faith. They don’t have a particular catechism document that they use to indoctrinate their pupils. Simply because most everything they bend the knee to is theory. It changes from day to day.

Separate from the deity of the virus itself, The Branch Covidians do have clergy that are quick to preach a sermon in a moment’s notice. Especially if there are TV cameras around. That clergy has been led by ‘America’s Doctor‘ Pope Anthony Fauci, MD. And the Branch Covidian converts are quick to repeat the COVID law when given the orders from the pulpit.

A staple liturgy of Branch Covidian doctrine has been ‘follow the science.’ Unfortunately, this has resembled divination more than it has the scientific method. 

Although they do not have a holy book to disseminate or specific houses of worship to attend, they do have the 5 pillars of the COVID faith.

These MUST BE strictly followed if eternal life is desired. Those that do not comply will be cast to an eternal place of damnation and hellfire. An area constructed specifically for all heathen that fail to comply with the Covidian faith.

The Branch Covidian Pillar of Faith #1

Vaccinations

Initially the vaccines were questioned by the political left. Kamala Harris, then a VP candidate for the democratic party, had stated she wouldn’t take the jab if Donald Trump urged Americans to take it. At the time Donald Trump was still the sitting president and had launched Operation Warp Speed to rapidly produce a treatment for the virus.

After the November 2020 presidential election and Congress declared Joe Biden victorious, the tune quickly shifted.

The vaccine became the holy grail. It was the epitome of salvation and life according to the liberal elites. Joe Biden repeatedly lectured every American that it was our “patriotic duty” to get jabbed. 

He also falsely stated that “You’re not going to get COVID if you have these vaccinations.”

Myself and thousands of other “fully vaccinated” individuals are walking examples of that Biden lie. 

While vaccinations may have decreased the severity of the covid-19 virus, they did not seem to have decreased transmission rates. Especially since the evolvement of the Omicron variant in late 2021. The overall effectiveness of the vaccines have also been called into question by many honest scientists and practitioners. 

The vaccines were so spiritually effective that the Branch Covidian clergy have been recommending boosters upon boosters as communion. 

The COVID vaccination has been instituted as a sacrament within the Branch Covidian church.

Branch Covidian cult members currently in political power around the world have also implemented vaccine passports. You want to eat in a restaurant, travel to specific places, enjoy a sporting event, or visit a museum you must show your identification proving your official baptism with the vaccine.

It has become the primary liturgical doctrine of the Branch Covidian faith. From Lord Fauci to President Biden’s strange whisper shouts of “Get vaccinated!”

Vaccine passports developed some pushback from the congregation. Enough to cause the clergy to rethink the dogmatic stance on such doctrine. 

The Branch Covidian Pillar of Faith #2

Lockdowns

Data is not on the side of The Branch Covidian Cult when it comes to lockdowns as a means of curving COVID cases. But, regardless of the “science”, Covidians strongly believe by faith that lockdowns work.

Pope Fauci clearly made that proclamation!

It was a false prophecy from the beginning. One of the Pope’s Apostles, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, was quick to place the edict of complete lockdown on his parishioners sending that state into further woke oblivion.

A quick defector of the faith, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, chose not to lock down his state. This allowed for Floridians, which include myself, to continue to work and worship as we pleased. 

The ‘science’ statistics have significantly favored the Covidian apostate DeSantis.

However, The Branch Covidians cannot be shaken in their faith. They believe in vaccinations and lockdowns.

The Branch Covidian Pillar of Faith #3

Masks

Prior to the addition of vaccinations to the sacraments of the Covidian faith, masking was undoubtedly one pillar that ranked first among the believers. 

Baptism by masks was the mode of acceptance into the denomination.

The mask has become the holy water to The Branch Covidians. Masks coupled with vaccination is a bullet proof vest according to the diocese. A sacred element of the faith. 

Mask wearing is akin to paying penance. If you wear 2 or 3 at a time you will bypass purgatory and ascend directly to the promised land. Systematic Theology scholars of the Covidian faith believe the number of mansions given to you in heaven will directly correlate the number of masks you wore at one time.

Triple masker? 3 mansions! 

But again reality burst the faithful bubble of the mask worshipper. The DANMASK study concluded that:

The recommendation to wear surgical masks to supplement other public health measures did not reduce the SARS-CoV-2 infection rate among wearers by more than 50% in a community with modest infection rates, some degree of social distancing, and uncommon general mask use.”

The organization that oversees The Branch Covidian church, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), offered up this epistle to help aid in this pillar of the faith. Hidden between the verses they wrote the following:

“Daily case and growth death rates before implementation of mask mandates were not statistically different from the reference period (which was mandates)”

Despite this finding, the ministers at the CDC went on to recommend the practice of mask wearing.

Strapping on a mask while shopping, driving, riding a bike, or hiking is equivalent to martyrdom for The Branch Covidian!

They believe by faith, not science, they are saving lives.  All praise goes to vaccinations, lockdowns, and masks.

The Branch Covidian Pillar of Faith #4

Social Distancing

According to the Covidian faith, social distancing saves lives. Six feet of distancing to be exact. Not 2, 4, or 5, but 6 feet. 

Apparently the coronavirus cannot jump the synapse from 5 foot 11 inches to make it to the 6 foot marker. 

None of us were able to venture to any public place without being warned about ‘social distancing.’ We could not enter a grocery store, restaurant, or coffee shop without having to stand on the taped circles 6 feet from the next patron.

Furthermore, we are showered every 2 minutes from the overhead speakers. You are likely eerily familiar with it.  The recorded message with the, oddly enough, British female voice telling us to stay 6 feet apart and wear our masks at all times. 

But what are the facts regarding the distancing commandment that came down from the throne of Pope Fauci and the clergy at the CDC?

It turns out there wasn’t, and still isn’t, any solid science behind the decree whatsoever. No one really knows where the source of the directive originated. What we do know is that what little research was done on the topic was published in the 19th century. 

The loose science was completed by a German hygienists named Carl Flügge. He is the one that theorized that 6 feet of distancing was adequate to slow the spread of pathogens. So one could logically ask why is 19th century theoretical science  being presented in 2021 as dogmatic fact?

An Australian aerosol scientists by the name of Linda Morawska said this about social distancing protocols:

“The dogma was born. Like any dogma, it’s extremely difficult to change people’s minds and change the dogmas.”

Like vaccinations, lockdowns, and masking, social distancing is believed by faith!

The Branch Covidian Pillar of The Faith #5

Hand Washing

Of the 5 pillars, this is actually the one that does have some legitimate science behind it. The problem lies in the fact that Coronavirus is an aerosol (airborne) pathogen. Good luck scrubbing the air with Ivory soap. 

But even the science behind hand washing is mind boggling.

The bishops at the CDC recommend hand washing for 20 seconds. Not 5, 10, or 30 seconds, but 20. Studies have shown better bacterial cleansing at 20 seconds than at 30, 10, or 5 seconds. 

Have trouble calculating 20 seconds while hand washing? The elders at the CDC recommend humming the ‘Happy Birthday’ song from beginning to end twice. I wish I were kidding!

While hand hygiene has shown efficacy for shedding bacteria and viruses from our hands, there has been much less emphasis on it than social distancing or mask wearing.

Heaven forbid a Corona Bro Branch Covidian see you without a mask on in the grocery store. They will attack you faster than a rabid possum. But they will not consider asking if you have cleansed your hands per the sacred standards.

The Branch Covidian can objectively visualize if you have a diaper on your face. They can generally depict how far away from others you are standing. Furthermore, they don’t know if you have washed your hands in the last week or not. 

Regardless of the “science”, hand washing is the ordained official fifth pillar of the Covidian faith.

Branch Covidian Evangelism

The Branch Covidians can have their religion. They are protected by the 1st amendment.

Unlike many on the progressive left that glance over freedom of speech, I am a 1st amendment absolutest. In that manner, they can believe and worship anything they so desire. I believe they have that right as Americans.

What they cannot do is force me to believe in their unscientific doctrine. To command that we all be baptized by masks and vaccines.

As one who practices medicine I will follow the real science. Not the junk science. Or the Trail Mix “science” where we pick out what we like and leave what we detest based on a political bent. 

Regardless of the status of the virus, I have no doubt that the Branch Covidians will continue to have faith in their newly founded religious denomination. And their leader, Pope Fauci!

8 thoughts on “The Branch Covidian Cult’s 5 Pillars Of Faith”

  1. Bravo

    I am a physiatrist also tired of hearing
    Have truths and doctrines by the Ministry of Health through broadcast my Ministry of Media.

    Sad there is less truth in mass media than weekly grocery store Gossip magazines.

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